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Joke of the Day

"Where do hogs keep their money? In piggy banks."

"Who are the world's fastest readers? The 911 victims. They went through 50 stories in a minute. I'm so sorry"

"What do you call Santa's wife? Mrs Claus. I'll see myself out."

"I met a refugee on the bus today. ""What country are you from?"" I asked. ""Iraq"" he said. ""How did you escape?"" I asked. IRAN"

"You know why they have a cock on the weather vane? If they had a cunt, the wind would blow right through it. -An old fuck."

"What's your best pedophile pick up line?"

"What language do British wrenches speech? Spanish!"

"Me: Siri, did you know millions of people misquote you on Twitter every day? Siri: Tim, I want your polish sausage."

"Do you like tapes and CDs? Cuz I'm gonna tape my dick to your forehead, so you can see deez nuts."

"I think I'm indecisive... but I'm not really sure."