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Joke of the Day

"I don't get why my dad talks on a phone. He's so loud all he has to do is open the window and they can hear him."

"Bee Gees Songs: Saturday Night Fever Sunday Night Scurvy Monday Night Measles Tuesday Night Typhoid Wednesday Night Whooping Cough"

"[texting] me: I just left and I already miss you wife *typing response* me: (can you read that to the dog for me)"

"The record companies have done a good job of fighting piracy by releasing music no one wants to steal."

"One of my favorites from Fallout 3: I once visited a crematorium that gave discounts to burn victims."

"Did you hear the one about the sidewalks? It's all over the streets."

"Do you know why the self driving car crashed? It had a bad driver."

"Kill them with kindness, you say? *slowly and sadly puts down bazooka*"

"Why do gay people smoke cigarettes? They love butts in their mouth"

"Upon what does a jungle cat write a letter? A cheetah paper."