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Joke of the Day

"Based on the condition of my hair in the morning, I'd say there's a 100% chance my hair has more fun than I do when I sleep."

"They should make a Bollywood movie about a poor Punjabi guy that wins a singing contest against all odds. It'd be called Singh: A Song"

"My uncle used to sell cheap inflatable dolls They always went down on the customer."

"My brother and I own adjacent farms The other day he rode over to complain that I was growing marijuana on his side of the fence. I told him to get off his high horse."

"A book fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame"

"I was visiting NYC for the first time when a black guy walked up to me and asked if the Yankees won I said, ""yeah man, you're free!"""

"If you like interracial porn... ...you'll love the next 4 years. Minorities are going to be fucked constantly by an old white man."

"Did you hear about the man who was born without any ears? Niether did he."

"Why don't Southern girls engage in orgies? Too many thank-you notes."

"I track my calories religiously every day. First they are on my plate and then I put them in my mouth"