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Joke of the Day

"They should make a Bollywood movie about a poor Punjabi guy that wins a singing contest against all odds. It'd be called Singh: A Song"

"I once left a love note on the wrong car, so yeah, you should totally trust me with important paperwork."

"Folks I'm seeing Trainwreck tomorrow night. Then after the GOP debate, I might go to the new Amy Schumer movie! Yeah, I went there"

"My sister was in love with a Mexican guy. She wanted him to marry her but he went home to Mexico... ... I guess he's the Juan that got away."

"I used that classic Liam Neeson line from Taken the other day: ""I will find you and I will kill you."" My grandkids refuse to play hide and seek with me anymore."

"Teacher: ""What is the most common phrase used in school?"" Pupil: ""I don't know..."" Teacher: ""Correct!"""

"If you're American when you go into the bathroom... ...and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? European"

"I ran into my ex-wife the other day So I backed up and hit her again, I miss her sometimes"

"HR called me in today and told me I have a bad attitude. So they're transferring me over to IT and giving me a raise."

"I have the perfect body of a 21 year old female... It's in a freezer in my basement"