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Joke of the Day
"Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper."
Next Joke
"A man walks into a chemist and asks for some Viagra at the counter... The chemist says to the man, ""Do you have a prescription for that?"" ""No."" The man replies, ""But will a photo of my wife suffice?"""
"Some young boy just knocked on my door saying ""I am collecting for the local swimming pool."" So I gave him a glass of water"
"A mahogany boob... Would be pretty useless, wooden tit?"
"My ex said my penis resembled a tic tac. So I asked her, then why does your sister still have bad breath?"
"I've been so drunk that homeless people give me their footlong sub. When they give it to me they whisper, ""Get your shit together, rookie."""
"It sucks to be a dick.. A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."
"I gave my number to a really hot girl at the bar and told her to text me when she got home. She must have been homeless."
"[first day as a server] me: how would u like your steak person: well done me: thank you that's so kind it's my first day & i'm very nervous"
"What does an empty bottle of Champaign and an orphan have in common? Nether of them have a pop."