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Joke of the Day

"Father of 7 month old accidentally throws 6 pack on child's head while getting into car But the baby was fine, it was light beer."

"How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Nobody knows, the never get to keep the house."

"Feel free to not tell me how sore you are from working out."

"I bought some blonde paint. It isn't very bright but it spreads easily."

"Why should you know who is the bride at an Irish wedding? Because that's the one you're *not* allowed to punch in the face."

"Good grief, did you see that, Hans? A time traveller just appeared, shot Adolf and left again. I mean I know his paintings are shit but WTF"

"Why do most Vietnamese people seem like male prostitutes? Because they pay for everything with their Dongs"

"I think I may be allergic to women everytime they touch my penis the damn thing just swells up like crazy."

"last night, my wife started smoking. but it was ok - I just slowed down a bit and used some lube."

"Why are fish always on drugs? They just keep getting hooked."