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Joke of the Day

"[spelling bee] Your word is 'mnemonic' ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Memory Needs Every Method Of Nurturing Its Capacity"

"I am constantly putting things where they don't belong, like the cereal in the fridge or my keys in the laundry or my faith in other people."

"What is a perfect society formed by a Asian called? A Yutopia"

"Anyone know the title of Steven Tyler's new cook book? Wok this way."

"Denied candy because I ""didn't wear red"". Kicked out of the office because I ""didn't wear pants"". I'm tired of these Valentine's Day rules."

"Surround yourself with people that can't handle their alcohol, so you can drink theirs after they pass out."

"On the bright side, smoking cigarettes reduces the risk of winning a marathon."

"In the style of Mitch Hedberg. I don't like fish eggs on my sushi... ...because I'm against abortion"

"What is Donald Trump telling Independents? Orange is the new black."

"i have a joke, but not funny ."