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Joke of the Day

"Mommy, I wrote some notes down in my diarrhea. Please let her mean diary. Please let her mean diary. Please let her mean diary."

"You brought me roses? I can't eat this. Get out."

"What's 9+10? 19 you fucking dumbass"

"No one shows their true character more than when they are retrieving their bags from baggage claim"

"What do you call a bowling alley in Brooklyn? Ebo-wling"

"What did the doctor say when he saw two fetuses being too affectionate in public? ""Get a womb, you two."""

"Best anti joke ever Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question? A:........."

"""I hate burritoes!"" -No Juan ever"

"When in Canada, what is Bruce Lee's favorite vegetable? Carrot-eh"

"My friend got hit with a soda can Don't worry, it was a *soft* drink! "