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Joke of the Day

"Mommy, I wrote some notes down in my diarrhea. Please let her mean diary. Please let her mean diary. Please let her mean diary."

"After a long and tough discussion, my wife and I decided to go with adoption. Let the little shits be someone else's problem."

"Have you heard? McDonalds is partnering with Nintendo and Niantic! Prepare for trouble And make it a McDouble"

"Me: why did you stop me? Cop: for starters you're not wearing a seatbelt. Me: what about main course? Cop: step out of the car."

"Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A: 'ell if I know."

"What do Reptiles love to smoke? Mariguana"

"if your best friend Jack was stuck on of a horse, would you help your friend Jack off a horse?"

"Tweeting with an egg avatar is like showing up to a job interview in a sweatsuit."

"I can't be Levi never tried speech wreck ignition soft wear be four. This is sofa king convene Yenta!"

"Why don't communists ever learn? Because there are no classes."