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Joke of the Day

"Me: why did you stop me? Cop: for starters you're not wearing a seatbelt. Me: what about main course? Cop: step out of the car."

"What's the difference between Pussy and Parsley? Nobody eats Parsley. (said at Christmas dinner by my 100 year old great Aunt)"

"There are 10 types of people. Ones who understand binary, and ones that don't."

"My dad would always say this, I don't know if this classifies as a joke, but it's funny I'm busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest Also: That smell could knock a buzzard off a shitpile"

"Me: I have a younger sister but she's nothing like me. Him: Wow, she sounds perfect."

"Melanoma victims hate it at first... ...but it grows on them.^I'm^sorry^..."

"TIL: Every ship is equipped to be a minesweeper at least once"

"When is a door not a door? How the hell is ajar supposed to work with this? Adoor and ajar? 'Cuse me?"

"I was dating this girl until I found out she stuffed her bra with tissue paper. Then I was hooked because serious allergy issues."

"What do all the sexy ladies of r/gonewild have in common? Daddy issues"