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Joke of the Day

"I've got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I'm stressing about for absolutely no logical reason."

"Sometimes in the mornings I have dirty thoughts about a dead girlfriend Mourning wood"

"My childhood has prepared me for a lot more bear-related pic-a-nic-basket thefts than I'm currently experiencing."

"Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off."

"Did you ever blow bubbles as a kid? Well, he's back in town and wants your number"

"My standards are so high they just recorded a reggae song."

"Impotence: Nature's way of saying ""No hard feelings""."

"Why use 2 A's in the name Aaron? Why not 17? What's stopping us?"

"Why did Microsoft name their new operating system Windows 10? Because Windows 7 8 9!"

"""haha! silly rabbit! trix are for-"" *rabbit puts a gun to the kids head* who are they for billy. tell me again who they're for"