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Joke of the Day

"Murdered for immortality. Received life sentence."

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"Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend? Because they're both roasted"
"What do you call a black man in a tree? A branch manager."
"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter;it's not going to come"
"My chiropractor told me I have to stop using air quotes when I call him ""doctor."""
"What's the best part about being a mute? It goes without saying..."
"Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a ""beef?"""
"My ex wives were all good housekeepers.. ..When they left, they kept the house."
"I could never become a vetanarian. That job takes balls!"
"-Knock knock... -""Who's there?"" - 9/11 -""9/11 who?"" -You said you'd never forget!"