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Joke of the Day
"My ex wives were all good housekeepers.. ..When they left, they kept the house."
Next Joke
"a fruedian slip is when you say one thing. . . . when you're thinking of a mother."
"I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT! WHY THE F*CK WOULD SOMEBODY BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON-Never mind, I found it."
"What did the mom say when she found out her son took an unexpected trip north? I don't like your latitude!"
"A new hipster coffee shop in my hood doesn't have wifi b/c it wants to encourage talking...presumably about the failure of this coffee shop."
"There are a billion people in China. Just think how many more there would be if the women had bigger tits."
"What do you call Muhammad Ali after he eats lots of beans? Gaseous Clay"
"I'm a man trapped outside a woman's body."
"What do you call a friendship between punctuation? Commaraderie"
"""You miss 100% of the shots you don't take"" is terrible advice for a recovering alcoholic."