195122

Joke of the Day

"Using dog shampoo when I run out of cat shampoo because I ran out of human shampoo a week ago."

"When I get calls from unknown numbers I panic, decline and then wait for the voicemail like I'm about to be murdered."

"Worst Business Idea Ever Biodegradable Bricks"

"Why are there so many female archeologists? Because women love digging up the past."

"Apparently the g-spot is located in a $1700 pair of Christian Louboutins."

"One day a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly the blonde's friend said ""Oh look a dead birdie!"" The blonde looked up and said ""Where?"""

"I felt sad when my girlfriend wouldn't reply to my emails I guess that was the point of no return"

"Pro tip for picking up girls keep your back straight and lift with your knees."

"I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let's not rush into things."

"Why did the frog jump under the lawn mower? He wanted to Kermit suicide."