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Joke of the Day

"I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let's not rush into things."

"Used tampons should be hung outside for the mosquito"

"What is a priest's favorite guitar chord? Gsus"

"People with scoliosis are the same as you or I... But with a twist. I'll see myself out."

"We're all part of the WTF generation: Wikipedia, Twitter and Facebook."

"Did you know you can tell what kind of area you're driving in by the bumps in the road? A few big bumps means you should probably slow down. Lots of little bumps means you're in a school zone."

"If you can't pee, Urine trouble."

"I'm trying to stop... I'm trying to stop masturbating. It's really hard."

"[sits son down after he didn't win science fair] son, tomorrow some will call me ""hero"" others will call me ""guy who fought a teacher"""

"What is written on Ronald McDonald's gravestone? McRIP"