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Joke of the Day

"Why aren't there any muslim stand-up comedians? Because they keep bombing."

"My social life. /thread"

"[Giraffes at gym] ""What do you want to work on today?"" Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. ""So...neck day again"" You bet"

"Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience."

"Why did the junkie walk into the pet store? To buy some quack croakaine!"

"If towels told jokes... They'd probably have a very dry sense of humor."

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I'd love to be the bear of bad news. ""The bad news is, you're gonna need stitches. RAWR!"""

"One hundred bacteria walk into a bar... of soap and get eradicated. There is only one survivor."

"Listen. I may be a nerd, but I have had sex. Just ask my wife. (Please don't ask my wife.)"

"I went for a job interview. The bloke asked, ""Where do you see yourself in 10 yrs time?"" ""Same as now - in photos and mirrors,"" I replied"