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Joke of the Day
"What's the best thing about being a Cubs fan? Not being from Detroit."
Next Joke
"What idiot decided to call it chewing tobacco instead of chewbacca?"
"How many DUIs does Tony Hawk have that he has to ride everywhere on a skateboard?"
"I'm on the bus now. Either the woman sitting right next to me has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokemons."
"People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away."
"How do you kill a thousand flies... Slap a Kenyan in the face. Just heard it from a coworker...thought I share."
"Star Wars: A New Hope Star Wars: Return of the Jobs Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Cash"
"""Putin's Assassination Attempt On Bob Costas Fails, Matt Lauer Next Target"" (Faux Onion headline. Follow on twitter @gizopizo)"
"I joined Twitter to have something to do while I waited for the repairman. It's only been 3 years, he should be here any month now."
"What do you call 2 medics? paramedics"