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Joke of the Day

"My car dealer will subtract the number of upvotes from my purchase price. When I spend more than $100 000"

"A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt. The man says, ""A beer please, and one for the road!"""

"It's crazy how much stuff there is to do on my phone when sitting at a restaurant alone."

"""If you have a ministry like Jesus it will probably be made up of about 12 people who don't get your illustrations, & 1 wants to kill you."""

"Why can black women twerk so well? They learned from their father how to bounce."

"Pepsi just bought out Nike. Nike's new slogan will be, ""Just Dew It""."

"An Egyptian man was told the river was too polluted to swim in. He refused to accept the fact, and went swimming in it anyhow. I guess you can say he was in da Nile."

"What do you call a hooker with a runny nose? Full I heard this on a radio show and thought it was worth sharing"

"The consequences of electing Trump... There will be heil toupee"

"[staff meeting] ""Ya so heads up, someone grabbed my lunch from the fridge, and there's a 420% chance you shouldn't eat the brownie inside"""