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Joke of the Day

"Office assistant is throwing darts at a picture of her boss. Phone rings. It's the boss. Boss: What are you doing right now? Assistant: Missing you."

"Prank: put a bucket of water on top of the door, then shoot your roommate in the stomach. When the cops come, they get soaking wet!"

"What do a gallon of milk and the city of Carthage have in common? Ideally you only have to sack them once, but we should probably sack them again for good measure."

"Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand seeing a man have a good time."

"Wars would be obsolete if women ruled the world There would just be a bunch of jealous countries who do not talk to eachother."

"What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!"

"Are you a bandicoot? Because I would crash for you."

"I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos. I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos."

"Turkey; you are approching to our border! Russia;cyka -stay out of our border! -blyat https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CUkGFOhWsAAKvkB.png"

"When your wife asks if men think about sex every 7 seconds the correct answer is ""I think of you all the time dear"" & not ""Sex with who?""."