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Joke of the Day
"Whoa whoa, calm the fuck down Swiffer commercials, you're a wet paper towel on a stick."
Next Joke
"(Man hobbles into grocery store using a cane) 5: HEY MOM THAT MAN IS USING A WALKING STICK BC HIS BONES AREN'T STRONG & HE'LL DIE SOON RIGHT"
"Cheesy joke Cheddar"
"My girlfriend asked me how I viewed lesbian relationships... Apparently ""in HD"" wasn't the right answer."
"Why didn't they just call the Selfie Stick a NarcissiStick?"
"The Past, the Present and the Future Walked into a Bar... It was tense."
"Being successful is like being pregnant.. ..Everybody congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you've been fucked."
"The Amazing Spiderman was good but they didn't cover the part in his life where he co-founded Facebook...I assume that will be in the sequel..."
"The toothbrush was probably invented in Arkensas Anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush."
"Man l: ""I got my wife a VCP for her birthday"" Man 2: ""Don't you mean a VCR?"" Man 1: ""No a VCP . . . Very Cheap Present!"""