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Joke of the Day

"I could not stop my baby boy from crying so I poured no tears shampoo in his eyes, it didn't work."

"Just found some atheist propaganda in this motel room. I opened the dresser drawer and it was empty."

"Q: What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker? A: A dressmaker tucks up frills."

"""It's a boy!"" Mario shouted. ""It's a boy!"" With tears rolling down his cheeks, Mario came running out of the room....and never visited Bangkok again."

"For me sex is like a game singleplayer"

"Does anyone know if ISIS is hiring? I heard they offer new hires a company cell phone and/or car."

"My version of a haunted house is hitting yes when an ATM asks me if I'd like to see my balance."

"Why do women live longer than men? They're not married to women."

"Have you ever done it kitty style? It's like doggy style, but with purring, scratching and biting."

"There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator Only a fraction of you will get this"