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Joke of the Day

"Stranger adds me to facebook *has a panic attack* Creepy as hell stranger follows on twitter *does victory dance*"

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"I cant believe I forgot to go to the gym this morning. That's 7 years in a row now."
"What did the nurse who knocked on the pregnant lady's door say? Womb Service!"
"What's the only difference between a near sighted and a far sighted gynecologist ? A wet nose."
"What rock group has four men that don't sing? Mount rushmore"
"I like my girls the same way I like my coffee. Without milk."
"Backache Darren This is a joke I wrote before I discovered reddit. I shall link to it thusly: http://vulpes-aurum.deviantart.com/art/Backache-Darren-149248532"
"A woman at work told me I look younger with my glasses off. I told her she looked younger with my glasses off, too."
"I know blood in horror movies is just corn syrup, but it's still terrifying because at this point, that's basically all my blood is"
"Her: Are you even listening to me or are you just tweeting? Me: Yes sweetie, I hate her too."
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