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Joke of the Day

"Think I might run a marathon just to prove to myself that I can do something pointless and awful."

"A lettuce, a tomato and a pumpkin had a race The pumpkin fell down squash. The tomato tried to ketchup, but the lettuce came out ahead"

"When I go to the bar I get a Lindsey Lohan. It's a Shirley Temple with a lot of coke"

"Alfred Nobel is considered the inventor of dynamite ...because all the others could not be positively identified."

"What's better at math than you a retarded Asian April fooly! Gotcha Burn April fooly"

"What do you call jokes about bread? buns"

"How do you burn an Irishman ear? Ring him while he's ironing..."

"Nice try ""Enjoy By"" date on bag of broccoli, nice try."

"""It's not about the size of the boat it's the motion of the ocean""... But it's hard to get cross the Atlantic with a rowboat"

"Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs."