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Joke of the Day

"I'd tell you the joke about the paper But it's tearable."

"Your mum is so fat that when she entered an ugly contest they said, ""sorry mam, but no professionals."""

"Just yelled ""I will strangle you in front of your pets"" out of my window to a car that cut me off in traffic on a highway in New Jersey."

"What is Bill Clintons favorite instrument to play? His Whore-Monica"

"Pupil: Sir would you mind e-mailing my exam results to my parents? Teacher: But your parents don't have a comuter. Pupil: Exactly!"

"An elephant and a camel are talking The elephant asks, ""Why do you have boobs on your back?"" The camel replies, ""Ha! That's a funny question coming from an animal with a penis hanging from his face."""

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."

"""Honey, I'm pregnant"" ""Hello Pregnant"", he whispers, tears of joy in his eyes. ""I'm Dad"""

"""Maybe she's born with it. Maybe she's a monster wearing a shit ton of makeup."" -Maybelline"

"The Ghostbusters are women?! This totally compromises the integrity of a story about battling evil marshmallows while dressed like a janitor"