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Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee like I like my..... women: ground up and in the freezer."

"A bird just got trapped in our wind chimes and made the next Bon Iver record."

"Why did the belt get arrested? Because it held up a pair of pants. I'll show myself out."

"What does Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump have in common? Jeffrey Epstein."

"Wanna hear a joke? Feminism (I'm going to hell anyway, the least i can do is have fun on the way)"

"Alex: A ship that has sunk What is my relationship? Alex: No sorry tha- [glares at wife] I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex"

"April Fools Day The one day out of the year where all of reddit becomes /r/nottheonion"

"What do you call a stick with autism? Autistic"

"Michaelangelo: Yea, sure, I'll paint your ceiling. *To himself* Errybody gon be naked tho."

"My life is a nightmare since they legalized gay marriage Because I have Iridophobia."