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Joke of the Day
"Why is a violin difficult to play? Because it is fiddly!"
Next Joke
"What are a mathematician's five favourite numbers? 0, 1, e, pi."
"I work at a bar, don't like it but it pays good. I just kneaded the Dough. EDIT: Not bar, bakery. Sand autocorrect. Never use Reddit on a phone."
"Why are my pubes curly? Because if they were straight, they'd be poking you in the eyes."
"I like to throw a fake punch at a hooker's crotch. If she flinches, I know it's a dude."
"Why did China lose WW2? Because their weapons were made in China"
"Psychologist: Go to your happy place. Me: *grabs car keys* Psychologist: Where are you going? Me: The liquor store."
"Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off."
"Most people prefer quilts over duvets but you shouldn't make blanket statements."
"What did the mayor of dinosaur town say when crime increased by 50%? This calls for Jurastic changes"