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Joke of the Day
"Why is a violin difficult to play? Because it is fiddly!"
Next Joke
"Q: How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark."
"Currently accomplishing an astonishing amount of nothing, at a blistering rate."
"[looking at wife as firefighters cut me out of baby swing at playground] It doesn't say its specifically for babies, Karen"
"What do terrorists and the England football team have in common? They will never win"
"Sometimes when my cat is sitting on a chair, I sneak up, shake the chair hard, yelling, ""EARTHQUAKE!"" Sadly, like many, she's not prepared"
"Girls aren't hard to understand They don't have dicks."
"I like my women like I like my coffee... Entirely void of pubic hair."
"Why are astronauts successful people ? Because they always go up in the world !"
"I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it's health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!"