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Joke of the Day

"Psychologist: Go to your happy place. Me: *grabs car keys* Psychologist: Where are you going? Me: The liquor store."

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"I buy all my guns from a guy named T-Rex. he is a small arms dealer."
"My teen sent my call directly to voicemail on the phone she used to have."
"[For HindI speakers] What is the loneliest fruit? A kela"
"How do you get to Nazi Germany It's on the third right EDIT: Woah this is like my third day here front page? I feel special now."
"A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds section with the heading ""Wife Wanted."" - The next day he received a hundred letters saying ""You can have mine."""
"What kind of root is only easy to find on paper? *A square one.*"
"I quit my job at the helium factory... I refuse to be spoken to in that tone"
"A roofer is working on a house and makes a mistake and falls through the ceiling and into the house. One of the guys inside says, ""nice of you to drop in."""
"What do Mexicans use to cut their pizza? Little Ceasars"