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Joke of the Day

"Psychologist: Go to your happy place. Me: *grabs car keys* Psychologist: Where are you going? Me: The liquor store."

"Leave a Post-It on your girlfriend's birth control that says, ""guess u don't want 2 have my babies haha."""

"If you're in a Mexican prison, ""Jesus loves you"" might not be very comforting words..."

"My friends David reviewed Auschwitz on Tripadvisor... ..he gave it a star."

"Why does Gordon Ramsay always use a condom? Because he should not be FUCKING RAAWWW!!"

"A Polish man goes into the opticians... The optician says ""Can you read the letters on the board?"" ""Read them?"", he says, ""I know him !"""

"They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines."

"I like my women like I like my sliced meat... Artificial with a bit if fat around the edges."

"Why'd the baker resort to prostitution? Because they knead the dough."

"I just went to jail for my wife's crime. She's Chinese, which I guess makes me guilty by associasian."