194300

Joke of the Day

"Does your wife have dry lips? Because I saw her putting some chap's dick on her lips"

"What do you call a man in the window? INNUENDO!!!!!!!"

"SHAME ON YOU LOT for showing newby tweeters bad behaviour this weekend *ring ring* ME: Hello FRIEND: Nat. Why is my son saying the F Word?"

"If a hipster falls in the forest and no one's around to hear it does it make a sound? Yeah, but you've probably never heard it"

"Why did the illiterate man with the 11 foot penis get dumped by his girlfriend? TLDR"

"I saw santa fucking my mom. To get back at him i decided to poison his cookies. Somehow the bastard found out and killed my dad."

"If you remove ET from the alphabet, how many letters are still there in the alphabet? 21, because ET left Earth in a UFO."

"I was born on 09.11.2001 and I suffer of autism Cause: The stork crashed and I'v hit my head"

"I'll never forget my 8th grade teacher. She was a 12-foot snake monster. Had 4 heads. Ate 7 desks. Killed a kid. Really made an impression."

"Alcohol: Giving you the ambition to do anything, while simultaneously taking away your capability to do so."