28604

Joke of the Day

"If a hipster falls in the forest and no one's around to hear it does it make a sound? Yeah, but you've probably never heard it"

"My grandpa told me my generation relied too much on technology I told him ""no, your generation relies too much on technology"" Then I unplugged his life support"

"Why did the bald man draw rabbits all over his head? From a distance they look like hares!"

"Some people just have a way with words, and other people ... oh ... not have way."

"[NSFW] My priest told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked, ""Why?"" He told me, ""The confessional is getting all sticky."""

"What's the tallest building? A library, because it has so many stories."

"You can tell a lot about my BF by the way he's giving me the silent treatment. He's doing it wrong. I'm doing it right but can't tell him."

"My phone autocorrected my name to shark and now I hate my parents for not calling me shark"

"Nature tip: if you're attacked by a cougar, tickle its belly. It will kill you but at least your last memory will be of petting a cuddly cat"

"Has anyone here heard of the Mexican train conductor who went crazy and ran over a bunch of people? He had locomotives!"