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Joke of the Day

"Alcohol: Giving you the ambition to do anything, while simultaneously taking away your capability to do so."

"How to sink a submarine with 10 blondes in it? You knock on the door."

"Scientists have invented a way to send messages to alternate universes... ... they are calling them ""parallelograms""."

"Do you like any sports? No, but i like ~~the iphone~~ 10s"

"that fuzzy feeling when he puts his arm around u for the first time and then his other arm and then his other arm then u realize HE A SPIDER"

"What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to? Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up."

"Who were the world's fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They went through 87 stories in 2 minutes."

"How many ears does Spock have? Three The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear"

"What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking? She's going to be eating me!"

"My first language is condescension. You wouldn't understand it."