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Joke of the Day

"What do clouds wear under their pants? Thunderwear!"

"Some relationships are like farts, sooner or latter you gonna have to let it go!"

"U.S announces ""Biggest boom in terrorism since 9/11"". ... The prophets are going through the roof."

"What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog"

"Top advice for resumes: Be VERY careful with placement of dashes. Ex. - First-hand job experience = good. First hand-job experience = bad."

"just so you know the guacamole costs an extra $1.80 plus one of your arms and the soul of your first born child thanks for choosing chipotle"

"Oh trust me, I am very racist I ran plenty of marathons"

"Dad: Tall latte Barista: Sure thing. Can I get a name? Dad: What your parents didn't give you one? *all the other dad's give him high fives*"

"If you visit a city, make sure you buy a T-shirt with that cities name on it so people know you went to that city."

"Who do mice worship? Cheesus. :)"