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Joke of the Day

"U.S announces ""Biggest boom in terrorism since 9/11"". ... The prophets are going through the roof."

"I went to the doctor this morning and I have mono. At my age I think I should have surround sound."

"A dyslexic man... A dyslexic man walks into a bra."

"If you were to look at my search history you might think I was a history buff... ... but in reality I just enjoy masturbating to pictures of Holocaust victims."

"Why are all castles disabled? They all have tur-rets"

"What's the worst part about being a pedophile? Getting the blood stains out of your clown costume."

"Judge: For the crimes you have committed you will go to prison for 10 years Me: That's a long sentence! Judge: Ok - ""you get 10 years"""

"Sexism Hurts Everyone I mean, I'm a sexist, and I can't get a girlfriend, so who the fuck is going to do my laundry?"

"What's the penalty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law."

"Why didn't the spaceship take off? Becuase it was astronauty"