194229

Joke of the Day

"Brother: Do you want to come over to see the new baby? Me: Does it have wifi?"

"If I can't stand on a counter top display at Home Depot and shit in the sink then we are truly living in a fascist society."

"Why did the sperm cross the road?... Because I put on the wrong pair of socks today."

"57% of serial killers were bed wetters until an unusually advanced age. Let's make fun of them! What's the worst that could hap..never mind."

"It would be terrible to be blind and get cancer. You would never see it coming."

"Text your friends but leave voicemails for your enemies."

"A guy died from arteries clogging. The doctors' efforts were in vein."

"The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence."

"Why was the Scotsman buried on the hill? He died."

"Say what you want about Olympic Skiing Events.... .....but most of that sport is going downhill fast."