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Joke of the Day

"Bon Iver just walked into my Starbucks. Wait nope just a super sad cat."

"Did you hear about the emotional wedding? Even the cake was in tiers!"

"I predict that Obama's next move is to threaten to hold his breath until Russia leaves the Crimea."

"What is the difference between a pitbull and a Golden Retriever? A Golden Retriever can sing better."

"What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? I'm not really sure. The air is clean. The mountains are beautiful. The flag is a big plus."

"My thoughts are as pure as snow... after the trucks have driven hard and plowed through it."

"Doctor doctor I feel dead from the waist down. I'll arrange for you to be halfburied."

"Before Google, there was memory."

"What do you call a redditor in the restroom? A shitposter."

"Wile E. Coyote's Amazon reviews of Acme products are pretty scathing."