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Joke of the Day

"When you put the punchline before the rest of the joke. How do you know when you're a bad comedian?"

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"How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb? One. They just hold the bulb in place and the world revolves around them."
"What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley"
"My little girl loves helping me when I'm doing the cooking, because I always let her lick the spoon. The sooner she's old enough to buy her own heroin, the better."
"I've been running as fast as I can, but I still can't catch my breath."
"What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? Everybody can chop pork but nobody can pea soup."
"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... One deer says to the other deer ""I can't believe I just blew twenty bucks in there!"""
"They should make halloween albums like they do for Christmas. I'd love to hear a Michael Buble version of Monster Mash."
"Today I read this book about Alzheimer's It was about Alzheimer's."
"Two goldfish are in a tank... One said, ""you man the guns, and I'll drive""."
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