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Joke of the Day

"Why is Jesus never able to finish more than half of a crossword puzzle? He always gets stuck on across."

"What do you call a dog that wisely saves money for retirement? A 401(K-9)."

"*scampers over to ice cream truck* Yes, I'll take the SpongeBob who looks like he just opened the Ark of the Covenant, please."

"How do vampire football players get the mud off? They all get in the bat-tub."

"While at work ""You must love putin"" ""Why?"" ""Because your a rushin!"""

"Since they won't vote anyway, Obama should make the GOP look bad by nominating a bald eagle holding a picture of Jesus to the Supreme Court."

"At a Smucker's family reunion... ...there is at least one mother Smucker"

"That awkward moment when you text a pretty girl, ""my shirt smells like you"" & you misspell shirt"

"""My friend got me a Fitbit"" ME: Oh yeh, heard of them, haven't got one tho ""u can buy them online"" ME [whispering] u can buy friends online?"

"When fighting clowns, never hesitate. Go straight for the juggler."