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Joke of the Day

"Since they won't vote anyway, Obama should make the GOP look bad by nominating a bald eagle holding a picture of Jesus to the Supreme Court."

"Hear about the guy who broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra? The police are looking for a hardened criminal."

"Thanks but I don't need help in your store or any other store. I've been in a ton of stores. I know how they work."

"You can't run through a campground... ...you can only ran, because it's passed tents."

"How do you get a red wine stain off a baby?"

"I met a French tart hiking in the Alps last year. Her name was Too Loose to Trek"

"How many people live in South America? A Brazilian."

"I'm glad Pitbull always announces his name right away so I know when to turn the radio off."

"The doctor told me I need to rest so I dropped the kids off at his office & now he won't stop calling me as if that's going to help me rest."

"Where do suicide bombers go when they die? Everywhere!"