194070

Joke of the Day

"The people at U.P.S are assholes. They sent me a message telling me I have a small Package... I mean, what are they doing opening my mail and looking at my pictures anyway?"

"When Gwen Stefani goes to Hawaii I bet she aint no mahaloback girl either."

"What would gold say if it could talk? ""A-U"" :|"

"An insect just flew into my bedroom and exploded. I think it was a Jihaddy Long Legs."

"What do you call noodles that aren't spaghetti? Impastas"

"What do you call a shed full of black people? Antique farm equipment"

"How can I smile when 28% of Americans aren't getting enough fiber?"

"There was a mass shooting at the Gap store this afternoon. They're still counting the casual Tees."

"CW: What did you do on the weekend? ME: I baked CW: Nice. What did you bake? ME: Me"

"Remove all the poles if you don't want me stripping, Mr. Bus Driver."