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Joke of the Day

"Why will we never know if Rick James was bald? Rogaine is a hell of a drug."

"[judge at restaurant] ""I will try... the lobster"" [2 hours later] ""I find the lobster guilty of money laundering and embezzlement"""

"water Water Teacher: What is the formula for water? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O. l"

"My Lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my Birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch."""

"Why do countries ""cut ties"" when things get tense ? So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties."

"After being an atheist for so long, I am now a catholic. Idk. I just really like cats"

"A guy wire is holding a pole... ...the pole is 10 meters tall, the wire makes a 48^o angle from the ground and the very tip is 7 meters from the pole. How long until the feminists arrive?"

"I saw a UFO yesterday. So I quickly grabbed the worst camera I own to film it with."

"I went to a charity event for women who lost their legs, when someone stole all of their wheelchairs. After that, the place was crawling with pussy"

"""Now That's What I Call Soup!"" - Guy who came up with the name Now That's What I Call Music looking at yogurt"