1940

Joke of the Day

"Duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for some lip balm. ""Certainly sir, will that be cash or credit?"" ""Just put it on my bill."""

"im a proud member of an elitist clique which spawned from the entenmann's bakery product support forums back in the early '00s"

"I once dated a mortician... it didn't work out because I'm not that much of a mourning person. Though she was a real head-turner."

"DOG: woof ME: you wanna go outside? DOG: [wagging tail] woof woof! ME: ok just a second DOG: [pulls a gun] woof [gestures to door] woof"

"Not a catfish. Just behind on my lip waxing."

"Accidentally poured myself a glass of vodka at 9am. Accidentally drank it too. I'm so fcuking clumsy."

"A blind dude walks into a bar. Ouch."

"What sound was made when a water truck collided with a vinegar truck? DOUCHE!!!"

"The tenth of October is the only day of the year that I would recommend 10/10"

"TIL the polish invented breakdance Have you ever tried stealing a wheel from a moving car?"