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Joke of the Day

"The guy behind me at the grocery store only had energy drinks, root beer & gummie lifesavers, so I asked how far into assassins creed he was"

"Stevie Wonder is having triplets at the age of 64. I bet he didn't see that coming..."

"Mexican jokes and Black jokes are pretty much the same. Once you heard Juan, you've heard Jamal"

"My Christian friend told me he doesn't believe in gay marriage. He said there should be no such thing as a happy marriage."

"What do you call an Italian hooker? A pastatute"

"Whats the difference between me and a calendar? A calendar has dates."

"After I beat my dad in Go Fish, I like to shit in my underwear to celebrate. -My son, apparently"

"Bad news: none of the fireworks at the Trump rally misfired and killed me!"

"Hi electron, will you be at home tonight? Probably."

"A got a beer for my wife... and it was the best trade I've made in a while"