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Joke of the Day

"The guy behind me at the grocery store only had energy drinks, root beer & gummie lifesavers, so I asked how far into assassins creed he was"

"What do you call a dinosaur with an English degree? Thesaurus."

"I like my coffee how I like my women Bitter, black, and preferably fair trade."

"It's a comfort knowing Dad is looking down on me, but we should probably cut his hang-glider out of that tree one of these days."

"People keep saying drugs are dangerous, I abused lots of drugs and I'm fine. It's only the people watching me through power sockets that are annoying."

"Laughter is the best medicine. Depression is the best food. Happiness is the best animal. I don't know since we're clearly making stuff up."

"So a clown gets eaten by a shark..."

"How do you hide money from a Republican? Put it in a science textbook."

"I like my wine like I like my girls... Eight to ten years old, and kept in my cellar."

"I tried to make a movement supporting lossy music compression... but I got a lot of FLAC."