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Joke of the Day

"Pancake day has really crepe'd up on me this year."

"CLOSE THE DOOR, YOU'RE LETTING ALL THE WIFI OUT"

"Saw an Alabama fan the other day He was wearing a t-shirt that said ""I Bleed Crimson"" I walked up to him and said ""You big dummy, we all do"""

"When I die I want my remains poured out of an airplane over the Grand Canyon. But don't cremate me. Just dump my body on some tourists."

"Whats green and fuzzy, but if it falls out of a tree, will kill you? A pool table."

"A Native American scolded me for celebrating Thanksgiving, a celebration of slaughter So I said, ""you're right, it's awful what they've done to the turkeys all these years."""

"When I was a little kid, I asked the waitress for a quickie My mom had to tell me, ""It's pronounced quiche'."""

"People who say ""in and of itself"" are responsible for most of the trouble in the world."

"""Doctor, doctor! I think I'm going deaf."" ""Well, describe the symptoms for me."" said the Doctor. ""Alright,"" said the patient ""Well, Marge has blue hair and Homer's bald."""

"Thanks for nothing autocorrect, I'm never gonna get chicks being a ""homeless romantic""."