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Joke of the Day

"[sits next to friend in a coma, holding her hand] ""Squeeze once if that's an 8 at the end of your HBO Go password."""

"Why did the blond snort NutraSweet? She thought it was diet coke."

"Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ? To improve his bite !"

"You going to eat those sausages? - What? The encased meats. Do you want them? - Those are my fingers. Oh, no thanks, I'm not there yet."

"Did you hear about the famous musical gay trio? They finally decided on a name: Soh Doh Mi"

"I don't know why some people are so against jokes about the Nazi's They kill in the Jewish communities"

"Why do Americans hate sunlight? Because it's yellow and settles on their land too. And it melts snow."

"Did you know, if you cut off your left arm, your right arm would be left."

"What's the difference between Chris Brown and a Tesla? The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year."

"Why did the ram run off the cliff? ...He didn't see the ewe turn! .>_<."