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Joke of the Day

"My wife tried imitating the weird groaning sound her car is making, and all three auto mechanics asked her out."

"A liar, a murderer, and a cheater walk into a bar. The New England Patriots must be in town."

"If you plug in a toaster and take it into the bathtub with you, it will get rid of your hiccups."

"Wife: You were right. Me: Say it again. Wife: You were right. Me: Again. Wife: You were right. Me: One more time. Wife: You wer- *wakes up*"

"What do you call a Hillary supporter? A journalist."

"I dropped my phone when my friend accidently bumped my arm. It didn't break but for a moment I saw her whole life flash in front of my eyes."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my wiener in a car exhaust pipe"

"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was out standing in his field!"

"i bet all the girls say ""i bet you say that to all the girls"" to all the guys."

"Apple once made an iPhone with a headphone jack... It was very 6S-ful"