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Joke of the Day

"Relationship Joke A man asks his wife, ""What would you do if I won the lottery?"" His wife says, ""Take half and leave your ass!"" The man replies, ""Great! I won 12 bucks, here is six, now get out!"""

"What did the boy say to his nanny when she stubbed her toe while playing tag? Na-na boo-boo"

"A Jew walks into a wall with an erection. Gets a broken nose. What does an Asian get? A broken nose."

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? Wheres my tractor!"

"Who does a lobster have in common with a broken hearted chinaman? They are both crustaceans."

"My buddy and I started a mountaineering business 6 months ago, and things haven't been going so well. We may have peaked early."

"I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. Then he was chuffed to bits."

"Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. 'Look Mum! No hands! Look Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look Mum! No teeth!'"

"I thought I would have to kill my bitch of a wife, but then she suffocated on saran wrap. I was so Glad."

"Did you hear about the goblin whose left arm and left leg cut off? Guess what he's alright now!"