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Joke of the Day

"I thought I would have to kill my bitch of a wife, but then she suffocated on saran wrap. I was so Glad."

"Don't date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison."

"What happens when a role playing game has no nudity in it? Ubisoft"

"My dancing style can best be described as ""Guy On Maury Who Just Found Out He Isn't The Father."""

"if you're feeling stressed out, just relax, take a deep breath, and exhale fire over all of your enemies. this is more for dragons btw"

"Reddit servers"

"What are Starbucks two shipping options? Ground and federal expresso"

"What do STDs and jokes have in common? They're both easily spread."

"The airline managed to lose the in-laws luggage, but not the in-laws. *sigh*"

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef but you can't pee soup."