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Joke of the Day

"Who often shoots in the wrong direction? Clint Westwood"

"An Ancient Roman walks into a bar.. Holds up two fingers and says ""Five glasses of wine please""."

"Walk like an Egyptian is a song, but also a sure fire way to make it safely through a bad neighborhood."

"On April 16, 2017, a small French city will detach from the surface of the Earth and fly into space, killing everyone. It's just Toulouse."

"Calling 911 Hello 911 I'd like to report murder, this bitch killed my vibe"

"What do you get when you throw a grenade in a French kitchen? Linoleum Blownapart"

"I'm not lazy I'm just energy efficient"

"I couldn't work for that man anymore, especially now after what he said to me. He said, ""You're fired"""

"Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it was mugged."

"WHAT are birds so happy about at 7am? What? Oh, right. Pooping while airborne. Good one."