193480

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between spider man and superman? peter parker can shoot webs. clark kent."

"I was playing the valve trombone today. I tried to put a mute in, but it charged me."

"M: If my chip:salsa ratio isn't perfectly even, I will burn down this restaurant, I swear to God. H: This is our house. M: I SWEAR TO GOD!"

"Why did the kid steal the fan? He wanted to be cool."

"The thing that makes learning how to use chopsticks so difficult is that the longer you use them, the soggier your cereal gets."

"How do you lose a Football championship penalty shootout? You Messi-up"

"""ALL I WANNA DO IS HAVE SEX WITH MINERS!"" is the exact wrong way to proclaim your sexual proclivity toward those who excavate coal."

"What do you call thrusting a hairy rod in and out of your mouth really fast then afterwards spitting out a white liquid? Brushing your teeth"

"I have an invisible friend. I haven't seen him for some time now."

"sorry, standing outside your house with a sign that says ""prom?"" was probably a confusing way to ask u what prom means"