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Joke of the Day
"How do you lose a Football championship penalty shootout? You Messi-up"
Next Joke
"What did Mr. Burns bring to the pot luck? Egg_salad"
"HOT LOCAL MOMS IN YOUR AREA ARE WAITING TO TUCK U IN & WILL BE CHECKING THAT TOOTHBRUSH SO GET IN THERE & DO IT RIGHT MISTER"
"What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already had to tell her twice."
"So I asked my friend, ""I hear your husband applied for a position in the government"" Me:""What is he doing now?"" Friend: ""Nothing"" Me: ""But I thought he got the job!?"" Friend: ""Yes he did."""
"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass"
"You can't tell me I neglect my children. Nobody else knows where they are either."
"What do you call a sick bird of prey that enters the country without permission? An ill-eagle"
"Why did the band 999 megabytes break up? Because they couldn't get a gig."
"I'm more of a Coca-Cola person... soda speak."