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Joke of the Day
"I tried to think of an electricity pun Now my head hertz"
Next Joke
"PHIL COLLINS: Here tonight is the man who inspired my next song, ""Fat Shithead Clogged My Toilet."" [spotlight tracks me as I head for Exit]"
"What do you get when you cross a rock climber with a tsetse fly? Nothing. You can't cross a scaler and a vector."
"*hostage situation* Our FIRST demand: we want more bullets because we ran out... NO DON'T COME IN HERE"
"Two cans of Red Bull may give you x-ray vision, but five cans give you the ability to hear oxygen."
"What animal do you look like when you get into the bath ? A little bear !"
"What kind of trees watch kids in Mexico? Baby cedar"
"When I've had a bad day I remind myself that I'm a straight white guy. Then I high five some dudes and we destroy an ecosystem or some shit."
"Guess who's the central character in the next Aliens movie ... Ripley, believe it or not!"
"What happened to the cow that jumped over the barbed wire fence? Udder destruction"