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Joke of the Day

"1)sit in toddler seat of a shopping cart. 2)tip over til feet touch the ground. 3)stand up. you're now a grocery turtle. no one can stop you"

"This joke is an oxymoron it's unfunny."

"Being a judge incorporates my two favorite things: wearing a robe and judging people. I missed my calling."

"I just don't have enough middle fingers for today."

"Nintendo managed something astonishing in this week's Nintendo Direct announcements... People finally gave a shit about Cloud based gaming."

"Someone once told me, ""GO FOR BROKE"" !! I'm happy to report that I succeeded..."

"Have you heard about the new Exorcist movie? The mother calls the Devil to pull the priest out of her son."

"What kind of bees make milk, not honey? Boo(bees)"

"I can build and fix small engines using only vomit, feces and rotted animals. Due to my gross motor skills."

"A man with a sheep A man goes home with a sheep under his arm and says ""this is the pig I've been fucking."" His wife says "" that's not a pig, that's a sheep."" The man says ""I wasn't talking to you."""